That's intense
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
