Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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