i wish my penis had a tongue
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
