Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize