Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
