then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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