O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
