so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
