Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
