Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have demons in me.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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