by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
