Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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