Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
