Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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