My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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