Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
