My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize