38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
