absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
bring money and cleavage
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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