With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My vagina is officially offended.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
