i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
