I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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