I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
