I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
