im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
