hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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