I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
