Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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