ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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