i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My dick has a subreddit
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize