Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i drank out of a bidet.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think people are normalizing furries
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
