we're blogging at a bar
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize