I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
