Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I need to calm my uterus...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize