Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
