these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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