he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
