And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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