Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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