I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
