Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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