don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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