who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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