i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
