we have officially lost it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize