Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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