I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
