On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
