I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
