I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
