I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We have started to decorate penises.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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