he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
