I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
