420 ftw
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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