i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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