he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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