I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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