What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize