I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
