I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This is classic penis vs brain.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
