Your face is a jimmy john
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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