you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
